My life is rated PG.
What is your life rated?

check out my account in yuwie..

im bored and broke.. yah.. so bear with me.. hahaha..



http://www.yuwie.com/crissycat/

di pa ko antok..

adik mode muna ko sa pc.. and senti mode na din..

haay.. love this song ngayon.. dont know why..


Mymp
Only Reminds Me Of You

I see you, beside me
It's only a dream
A Vision of what used to be
The laughter, the sorrow
Pictures in time
Fading to memories

pre-chorus:
How could I ever let you go?
Is it too late to let you know?

Chorus:
I try to run from your side
But each place I hide
it only reminds me of you
When i turn out all the lights
Even the night
it only reminds me of you

Verse 2:
I needed my freedom
That’s what I thought
But I was a fool to believe
My heart lied when you cried
Rivers of tears
But I was too blind to see

pre-chorus:
Everything we’ve been through before
Now it means so much more

...
Only you...

Bridge
So come back to me
I'm down on my knees
Boy can’t you see...

How could I ever let you go
Is it too late to late to let you know

..only reminds me of you..

i feel kinda down today.. parang ang pathetic ng buhay ko.. amf..

naiinis ako.. i know nobody's perfect pero ang hirap.. how would u know if sobra na? ...pag ba nasasaktan ka na? pag sobrang galit ka na? pag nababastos ka na? pag nahihirapan ka na? haaay..

nweiz change topic..

ginawa ko tong blog na toh dati as a therapy nung nagbreak kami ng bf ko.. i named this my own bitter space.. because i really was bitter then.. sobra.. we never had a closure pero parang di na rin kailangan.. i've moved on and so did he.. may anak na nga ang mokong eh.. hehe..

nung una i wanted to remain anonymous here.. gusto ko kc masabi ko dito kahit anong gusto kong sabihin.. lalo ung mga bagay na di ko masabi sa ibang tao.. na ayokong malaman ng mga taong kilala ako.. pero as i made friends here di rin naiwasan na magpakilala na ko.. kasi gusto ko..gusto ko malaman nila kung sino ko..

yun nga lng parang nalimit na rin ako kung anong pwede kong sabihin..may mga kakilala na rin kc ako na nababasa mga sinusulat ko dito.. dati tinukso pa ko ng mga kaibigan ko bec of something i wrote.. sobrang hiya ko nun grabe.. pero i kept my blog.. kahit medyo napabayaan ko na rin and minsan na lng ako magpost dito..

in time parang naging outlet na lng toh when i feel bad.. kaya most of the time mga post ko puro galit ako.. or im complaining about something or i hate someone.. basta negative.. ewan ko kung bakit.. cguro kasi pag masaya ako hindi ko na naiisip mag-ganito.. or maybe bec in the first place i created this blog para makapaglabas ako ng emotions ko.. ewan bsta gnon..

i think i changed my blog's name to "Bitter no more" nung naging kami na ni Mark.. syempre masaya na ko eh.. may lovelife na ko ulit.. i made less and less posts since naging kami.. sympre kc most of my time i spend with him and sa studies.. kaya i didnt have time na to post pa unlike dati.. ska watever i think and feel nasasabi ko na kay Mark.. he was not just a boyfriend but a friend as well.. kya ung mga bgay na di ko nasasabi sa iba sa knya ko sinasabi.. kya medyo di ko na rin naiisip na magpost dito..

last month lang niya nakita and nabasa ung mga post ko dito sa blog ko(a few days before we broke up).. he felt bad kc puro negative daw nakita niya na post ko bout him.. meron pang post about some guys.. never ko na naisip that he would be interested sa blog ko na toh.. he knew that it exists pero never ko pinakita sa knya.. for me kasi this is something na sakin lng sana.. and also kc sympre dito ako minsan naglalabas ng sama ng loob sa knya.. sympre nmn ayoko mabasa nya yun kc i know sasama loob nya.. db? lahat nmn ng post ko dito na negative about him he knows nmn ung mga issues na un.. we've talked about them.. sympre nmn minsan i want to express how i feel without having to explain pa myself or what i say.. bsta maglabas lng ako ng sama ng loob..

ngayon tuloy na he knows na my blog prang nawala na ung freedom ko to say whatever i want here.. sympre i wud be conscious na this might hurt him or he might misunderstand this.. i cant just blab about stuff without considering his feelings.. which sucks.. talaga.. haay.. its not that galit ako or inis ako kc binasa nya blog ko or he invaded something.. i have nothing to hide naman eh.. pde nmn nya makita toh if gugustuhin ko.. sakin lang kc i had this even before maging kami and ito na tlga nging outlet ko of my feelings and my views and my kwentos and may kagagahan.. here i can just be myself and feel free to say things i want and how i feel.. bsta ang hirap explain.. dont know if anyone understands me pero bsta.. iba na eh..

"Bitter ONCE MORE" blog ko ngayon kc nga we broke up last month.. actually dapat nga palitan ko na yan eh kc kami na ulit.. last June 1 pa.. ganito ko katagal mag-update ng blog ko(kawawa tlga).. pero parang hindi ko pa feel palitan ung name.. yaan ko na lng muna yan dian.. we're still working things out pa naman eh.. up and down.. minsan ok minsan hnd.. kala mo super ok na today pero tomorrow hindi na naman.. lalo na ngayon i found another skeleton in his closet.. gulong gulo tuloy utak ko ngayon.. its hard kc to accept that someone i love and who loves me so much too could do so many hurtful things to me.. i can forgive.. i can try to forget pero ang hirap.. sobrang hirap..

the hardest thing to accept and understand siguro is kung pano mo nagawa lahat un sakin? yes i know hnd mo ginawa ung mga un pra saktan ako pero alam mo naman na mali.. alam na alam mo un.. alam mo pag nalaman ko masasaktan ako.. pero ginawa mo pa rin.. hindi ko siguro matanggap na you love me so much.. so so much.. but still you were able to do all those things to me.. na ung taong mahal ko naging ganon kahina.. hindi ko na alam kung ano iisipin ko.. kung ano papaniwalaan ko.. kung ano susundin ko.. gulung-gulo na ko..

tae.. sbi ko change topic pero dun din bumalik.. tanga talaga..

haaaaay.. tama na toh.. pahinga na ko.. tulog na ko..

matutulog na dapat ako..

i turned off the tv and humiga na ko..

kinuha ko cellfone ko to check the time.. ..11:59pm..

then i remembered..

.. "oh shit.... "

.. "pagdating ng 12:00 may lalabas sa phone ko.."

i waited for the next minute..

... 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1..

... and there it is.. my reminder for the day.. May 19, 2007..



my reminder read:
* 32nd monthaniv!!!
* 2yrs and 8months!!!

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kaso wala na siya silbi.. kasi wala na kmi...